I am currently on day four of a five day FIL visit.
He is moving here to be closer to family (my wife and I) and it is VERY challenging.
He has made really bad decision his entire life, has massive entitlement issues, has trouble finding or keeping jobs, and lives off of government support, coupon scams, buying items at yard sales/flee markets and selling them (well trying to) on craiglist and ebay, etc...
He had a pretty serious medical scare 6 months or so ago and no family was nearby. It tore up my wife knowing he was (a) too ashamed to even tell family for a few days until he was forced to, and (b) that she needed to fly clear across the country to care for him, etc.
This visit is mainly to get him acquainted with the town and have him look at a bunch of apartments. All the apartments are a little more than he can afford and he understands that he will need to get and keep a job, but as optimistic, hopeful and supportive as I am for family members, I am worried about this one...
We are going to (happily) front a lot of the moving costs, apartment deposits, etc., but there will be no long term welfare from our bank account and my wife is on board with this. The guy has to swallow his pride, make an effort and succeed at some basic level.
Obviously it's a tough dance as my wife is too mired in the relationship to see a lot of things clearly, although, to her credit, she knows this and allows me to be the impartial voice of reason.
Step one was this visit to find him an apartment and show him what it will cost, places to live, etc. Step two is to sell his current, rundown house and hope he can just walk away without owing anything. Step three is to help him and coach him in finding gainful employment and then pray and pray he can keep the job for more than 6 months before telling his boss off and getting fired.
I think I may need to budget for additional tequila...
He is moving here to be closer to family (my wife and I) and it is VERY challenging.
He has made really bad decision his entire life, has massive entitlement issues, has trouble finding or keeping jobs, and lives off of government support, coupon scams, buying items at yard sales/flee markets and selling them (well trying to) on craiglist and ebay, etc...
He had a pretty serious medical scare 6 months or so ago and no family was nearby. It tore up my wife knowing he was (a) too ashamed to even tell family for a few days until he was forced to, and (b) that she needed to fly clear across the country to care for him, etc.
This visit is mainly to get him acquainted with the town and have him look at a bunch of apartments. All the apartments are a little more than he can afford and he understands that he will need to get and keep a job, but as optimistic, hopeful and supportive as I am for family members, I am worried about this one...
We are going to (happily) front a lot of the moving costs, apartment deposits, etc., but there will be no long term welfare from our bank account and my wife is on board with this. The guy has to swallow his pride, make an effort and succeed at some basic level.
Obviously it's a tough dance as my wife is too mired in the relationship to see a lot of things clearly, although, to her credit, she knows this and allows me to be the impartial voice of reason.
Step one was this visit to find him an apartment and show him what it will cost, places to live, etc. Step two is to sell his current, rundown house and hope he can just walk away without owing anything. Step three is to help him and coach him in finding gainful employment and then pray and pray he can keep the job for more than 6 months before telling his boss off and getting fired.
I think I may need to budget for additional tequila...